what fun!

What I love the most about being a mom so far are the off-the-wall, from-outer-space comments and questions that pop up in the oddest times.  

(Ok.... that sentence was just crazy.)

The other day I was driving down the road when Caroline asked, "Mama, how do snakes poo-poo?  I mean..... they have to poo-poo don't they?  ..... How?"  (please read poo-poo like puh-eww puh-eww, you know, in the most southern way possible.... draw it out..... nice an' slow, and you'll have it exactly as she said it.)

Um.   Wha- whaat?  ;) (this is me trying not to laugh...)  Umm.  Uhhh.  Well, I guess.... they have butts? Yes.  Snakes have butts.  But we don't talk about snake butts.  Um- K?

Memory...

One of Caroline's most favorite games is Memory. 

And man, is she ever good?!

She plays to win, and usually I let her.

'Cause I'm skeered!  ;)

Serious concentration...

Aaaaannd.... she wins by a landslide! 

Other memories came back today...

She said while she was in China, she ate too many potatoes and puked on the way home.

So now that's why she doesn't eat potatoes.
(except french fries...they don't count!)

Fair enough, and nice to know!

She also drew a picture of a chicken dinner that her foster mother made for her. 

It was her FAVORITE!

But alas, I'm not sure I'll be able to re-create it... 

Any ideas on what this might be? ;)

Afternoon Shenanigans...

Oh, they look so cute!

*yawn!*

I can do it too, Thirsty!  See?

And for your viewing pleasure,

I present:  

CAROLINE CAM!  

(the commentary is cute!  But boy, where'd she get that southern accent?)

yes, Ma'am

So she calls me ma'am.  And I don't like it!  


ma'am |mam|nouna term of respectful or polite address used for a woman : excuse me, ma'am.• a term of address for a ranking female officer in the police or armed forces.• Brit. a term of address for female royalty.ORIGIN mid 17th cent.: contraction ofmadam .I don't know about you, but I want to be a mama, not a ma'am.  I don't want to be ranked as a "female officer" in my child's life.  Just this morning, after she asked if she could go to work with "Baba," knowing good and well that she  wouldn't be able to...    I got the Eeyore's version of, "yes ma'am."  *sigh*  And throw in some extra sad, mopey eyes, and then.....  I forgot to take a deep breath.  THE deep breath of mommy calmness.  So I said in my most chipper, non-confrontational voice, "Honey, who told you to call me ma'am?  I mean, you don't call Baba "sir?"  Right?  See... it makes me feel that you don't like me.  (MISTAKE!  SHUT YOUR MOUTH MOMMYINTRAINING!)  You know.... it's kinda formal.  Do you know what formal is?  No?  You know..... not relaxed.  Anyway, it's okay if you wannacallmemaa'm, but I was just curious."   OH man, ohmanohman, I did not just have a conversation about her calling me ma'am!  What the hey.  Our morning is off to a wonderful start!  Good morning, anxiety, frustration, and insecurity! Y'all are right on time!  

Parenting madness...

Hmmm, how did Harry Potter get in the mix?

I have SO many books on parenting and adoption.... so very many.  I must admit, I've only read three or four out of the very many purchased with the best of intentions.  I think they confuse me more than anything.  So during particularly hard moments of parenting..... I mentally go blank.  The only thought in my head becomes, "I don't know what to do!"  

She looks harmless, right?  Meow!  

So that's why I loved this article...

How to Land Your Kid in Therapy 

What I gleaned most from this was:
"there is no single foolproof recipe for raising a child."
Well that's nice to know.


I also need to remember that when she is feeling anxious, mad, or sad, (all emotions that I cannot handle from her) that I don't have to "visit" these emotions with her.  That's so hard for me to do!  I tend to be an emotion sponge.  I feel on a deep level other people's pain.   And then usually.... I turn the pain and negative emotion into something that I caused.... I turn it into my problem.... my responsibility.  No wonder I'm uncomfortable in this trepidatious role as a new mother of an older child.  This ain't supposed to be about me, people!  With everything that I have, I want to be a good mother to her.  I want to allow her grief to flow without hindering it with my fear.  I want to allow her to be angry because Lord knows.... I would be pissed to have been taken away from my family and friends, and everything that I've ever known.  


Boy, I have a lotta learning to do!  Maybe I'll go consult my library.  Heh.  

Where do I start.... again.

Sometimes I have so much to say, I can't even get one word out.  My mind becomes a jumble of emotions and feelings, and my thoughts get muddled.  So I'm just going to have to start somewhere.

uh...

I am now a mother.  There.   The process of becoming a mother was not exactly how I had envisioned it, but...  there you are.  A mother, none-the-less.  

I am an eleven month old mother to a seven year old child.  There were bound to be some hiccups in there somewhere.  

But I just want to say she is the most amazing little person I know.  She is the bravest little soul that I know.  She is kind, smart-as-a-whip,  perfectionistic,  entertaining, charismatic,  and beautiful.

Even though I still have days when I don't know how to "mother" her.... I know we are meant to be together.  And I pray, I do this mothering thing right...