Afternoon Shenanigans...

Oh, they look so cute!

*yawn!*

I can do it too, Thirsty!  See?

And for your viewing pleasure,

I present:  

CAROLINE CAM!  

(the commentary is cute!  But boy, where'd she get that southern accent?)

yes, Ma'am

So she calls me ma'am.  And I don't like it!  


ma'am |mam|nouna term of respectful or polite address used for a woman : excuse me, ma'am.• a term of address for a ranking female officer in the police or armed forces.• Brit. a term of address for female royalty.ORIGIN mid 17th cent.: contraction ofmadam .I don't know about you, but I want to be a mama, not a ma'am.  I don't want to be ranked as a "female officer" in my child's life.  Just this morning, after she asked if she could go to work with "Baba," knowing good and well that she  wouldn't be able to...    I got the Eeyore's version of, "yes ma'am."  *sigh*  And throw in some extra sad, mopey eyes, and then.....  I forgot to take a deep breath.  THE deep breath of mommy calmness.  So I said in my most chipper, non-confrontational voice, "Honey, who told you to call me ma'am?  I mean, you don't call Baba "sir?"  Right?  See... it makes me feel that you don't like me.  (MISTAKE!  SHUT YOUR MOUTH MOMMYINTRAINING!)  You know.... it's kinda formal.  Do you know what formal is?  No?  You know..... not relaxed.  Anyway, it's okay if you wannacallmemaa'm, but I was just curious."   OH man, ohmanohman, I did not just have a conversation about her calling me ma'am!  What the hey.  Our morning is off to a wonderful start!  Good morning, anxiety, frustration, and insecurity! Y'all are right on time!  

Parenting madness...

Hmmm, how did Harry Potter get in the mix?

I have SO many books on parenting and adoption.... so very many.  I must admit, I've only read three or four out of the very many purchased with the best of intentions.  I think they confuse me more than anything.  So during particularly hard moments of parenting..... I mentally go blank.  The only thought in my head becomes, "I don't know what to do!"  

She looks harmless, right?  Meow!  

So that's why I loved this article...

How to Land Your Kid in Therapy 

What I gleaned most from this was:
"there is no single foolproof recipe for raising a child."
Well that's nice to know.


I also need to remember that when she is feeling anxious, mad, or sad, (all emotions that I cannot handle from her) that I don't have to "visit" these emotions with her.  That's so hard for me to do!  I tend to be an emotion sponge.  I feel on a deep level other people's pain.   And then usually.... I turn the pain and negative emotion into something that I caused.... I turn it into my problem.... my responsibility.  No wonder I'm uncomfortable in this trepidatious role as a new mother of an older child.  This ain't supposed to be about me, people!  With everything that I have, I want to be a good mother to her.  I want to allow her grief to flow without hindering it with my fear.  I want to allow her to be angry because Lord knows.... I would be pissed to have been taken away from my family and friends, and everything that I've ever known.  


Boy, I have a lotta learning to do!  Maybe I'll go consult my library.  Heh.  

Where do I start.... again.

Sometimes I have so much to say, I can't even get one word out.  My mind becomes a jumble of emotions and feelings, and my thoughts get muddled.  So I'm just going to have to start somewhere.

uh...

I am now a mother.  There.   The process of becoming a mother was not exactly how I had envisioned it, but...  there you are.  A mother, none-the-less.  

I am an eleven month old mother to a seven year old child.  There were bound to be some hiccups in there somewhere.  

But I just want to say she is the most amazing little person I know.  She is the bravest little soul that I know.  She is kind, smart-as-a-whip,  perfectionistic,  entertaining, charismatic,  and beautiful.

Even though I still have days when I don't know how to "mother" her.... I know we are meant to be together.  And I pray, I do this mothering thing right...

Two weeks from today...

And yes... I am pretty much wigging out.

I don't travel well.

We'll leave it at that.

;)

So this is how my Saturday has gone...

New Camera, Thirsty yawning, the mattress is still there...

I washed Caroline's sheets, made Marc switch out the sconces in Caroline's room with the ones in our room, 

I helped Marc put up the chandelier,  

painted a new Cherry Blossom branch (which Marc said looked like a white lightening bolt... yeah, well I saw it too.) 

Gizamee slept, I painted the sconce that was in our room that was to be put in Caroline's room so it would match the chandelier,

and then

I did a little fun craft project.

The flowers go in Caroline's room...

but to see it you have to go to our travel blog. 

(Blogger is blocked in China so I had to use something else.)

www.ourcaroline.com

Come see!

Update...

We have confirmation that we will be leaving Sept. 4th and coming home Sept. 18th. 

 Oh, is that why I feel sick, or is it from the four shots I had to get yesterday?  Urgh.   :)

Oh my goodness, oh my goodness.....

Oh!                                Oh!

Oh my goodness!                Is this for real?

It's looking as though we      leave on September 4th!

We arrive in Beijing on September 5th! Tour Beijing on the 6th.

We fly to Guangzhou on the 7th, and get Caroline that afternoon!

Paperwork, touring, bonding, eating, crying (I'm sure,)

getting homesick, but having thetimeofourlives,

and taking WAY too many pictures,

and then fly home on September 18th.

All preliminary of course.  ;)

~WOW!~

~