Parenting madness...

Hmmm, how did Harry Potter get in the mix?

I have SO many books on parenting and adoption.... so very many.  I must admit, I've only read three or four out of the very many purchased with the best of intentions.  I think they confuse me more than anything.  So during particularly hard moments of parenting..... I mentally go blank.  The only thought in my head becomes, "I don't know what to do!"  

She looks harmless, right?  Meow!  

So that's why I loved this article...

How to Land Your Kid in Therapy 

What I gleaned most from this was:
"there is no single foolproof recipe for raising a child."
Well that's nice to know.


I also need to remember that when she is feeling anxious, mad, or sad, (all emotions that I cannot handle from her) that I don't have to "visit" these emotions with her.  That's so hard for me to do!  I tend to be an emotion sponge.  I feel on a deep level other people's pain.   And then usually.... I turn the pain and negative emotion into something that I caused.... I turn it into my problem.... my responsibility.  No wonder I'm uncomfortable in this trepidatious role as a new mother of an older child.  This ain't supposed to be about me, people!  With everything that I have, I want to be a good mother to her.  I want to allow her grief to flow without hindering it with my fear.  I want to allow her to be angry because Lord knows.... I would be pissed to have been taken away from my family and friends, and everything that I've ever known.  


Boy, I have a lotta learning to do!  Maybe I'll go consult my library.  Heh.  

Where do I start.... again.

Sometimes I have so much to say, I can't even get one word out.  My mind becomes a jumble of emotions and feelings, and my thoughts get muddled.  So I'm just going to have to start somewhere.

uh...

I am now a mother.  There.   The process of becoming a mother was not exactly how I had envisioned it, but...  there you are.  A mother, none-the-less.  

I am an eleven month old mother to a seven year old child.  There were bound to be some hiccups in there somewhere.  

But I just want to say she is the most amazing little person I know.  She is the bravest little soul that I know.  She is kind, smart-as-a-whip,  perfectionistic,  entertaining, charismatic,  and beautiful.

Even though I still have days when I don't know how to "mother" her.... I know we are meant to be together.  And I pray, I do this mothering thing right...